Bump!
by Zombie Boy
Summary: Another one of my one shots. Something goes bump in the night, and Suzie gets a surprise.


Bump!

Oo000ooo000oO

_From ghoulies and ghosties  
And long-leggedy beasties  
And things that go bump in the night,  
Good Lord, deliver us! _

Oo000ooo000oO

A Calvin and Hobbes fanfic.

By Zombie Boy.

Oo000ooo000oO

The soft ticking of her alarm clock was the first sound that Suzanne Jenkins sleep addled brain recognized when her eyes snapped open, roused out of a sound sleep. Blearily, she looked around at the darkened shadows of her bedroom, the only light provided by the light pollution filtering in through the curtains.

Blinking a couple of times, she wondered why she was awake when a metallic _clink_ from the kitchen answered her question and kicked her adrenal glands into overdrive. Her began to beat the same trip hammer rhythm that it had whenever she'd been on the soccer field in high school- only this time it wasn't because she was trying to score a goal, it was because there was an intruder in her apartment and her fight or fight response had gone into overdrive.

"_Shit!" _Suzie thought frantically as she reached for where her cell phone was resting on it's charger- only the charger was empty, her phone still lying on the kitchen table where she had left it.

"_Gorramit, Suzie, not having a landline because they're too 'cliché' is looking real fucking stupid now!"_ she mentally berated herself with a wince. _"Being raped and murdered is a hell of a lot _worse_!"_

Quietly as she could, Suzie put the covers back and reached under the bed for the 12 gauge shotgun she kept under there. Swallowing painfully because of her suddenly dry throat, she raised the shotgun to her shoulder and pushed off the safety.

Foregoing pressing the action button because she kept it with the chamber empty and the hammer down, she racked the pump on the shotgun, it's action buttery smooth as it made the distinct chick- _CLACK _of a round being chambered.

"W-Who e-e-ever's o-o-out t-t-t-t there, l-leave now!" Suzie called out in a very tremulous voice, the wood stocks of the shotgun feeling like they were greased in her sweating palms as she fought to keep from wetting herself.

The noise in the kitchen stopped, then was replaced by the sounds of soft footfalls on carpet. Suzie's eyes went wide as she aimed at the open bedroom door, the bead of the Winchester doing a happy little dance all by itself.

She almost fired off a shot when the hallway light clicked on as the footfalls got closer to her bedroom, stopping just short enough so where the intruder was hidden by the wall. The only thing that let her know where he was was his shadow, which didn't give her any important details about him-like if he was armed.

"If I make you a tuna sandwich, do you promise not to shoot me?" a very weird voice asked.

"W-Who are you?" Suzie demanded. "Show yourself! And don't try anything, or I'll shoot! I know how to use this thing!"

"I know you do." the voice answered. "I'm stepping out into the doorway now. _Please_ do not shoot me!"

"Try anything and you will!" Suzie snapped.

"Okay..." said the voice. "Here goes. I"m showing you my hands first..."

Suzie gulped as a pair of tiger paws attached to a pair fuzzy, orange, arms appeared in her doorway. Her first thought was that her intruder was wearing a costume, but that thought went out the window when she saw muscle flex and move under the skin. Se was a zoo veterinarian, and that was real fur and flesh she was seeing, and those were real tiger's paws with articulated fingers facing her, palms open.

The rest of him slowly and carefully followed the arms, and soon Suzie found herself facing almost eight feet of bipedal tiger standing in the door to her bedroom, a somewhat sheepish look on it's face.

"Okay, now you can see me. Could you please put the gun down?" the tiger asked.

"W-who...w-what?" Suzie asked, her brain trying to comprehend what she was seeing.

The tiger arched a brow at her. "Suzie, we used to have tea all the time back when you were a kid."

Suzie's face screwed up in concentration as she racked her memory. "Tea... I used to have tea with Mr Bunny, and sometimes I'd have Calvin's... stuffed... tiger..." her eyes went wide as the implication of what the tiger was saying hit. "Hobbes? You're Hobbes?" she asked, voice faint.

Hobbes smiled and nodded. "In the fur, Suzie." he said.

"But if you're real..." Suzie said, lowering the shotgun slightly "Then that means that everything Calvin was talking about...really...happend..."

Suzie tottered for a moment as she trailed off, then her eyes rolled into the back of her head as her brain decided that it had had enough and shut down.

Hobbes nearly had a heart attack as Suzie collapsed to the floor, the loaded with the safety off shotgun landing on the carpet with a muffled clatter as she fell backwards onto the bed.

Thankfully for everyone involved, the Winchester engineers who had designed the Model 1200 had did their job well and it didn't go off. Taking a couple of breaths to steady himself, Hobbes padded into the bedroom and picked up the shotgun.

Extending a claw on his forefinger, he pushed the safety in and set the weapon aside. After checking on Suzie to make sure she was alright, he picked her up and carried her into the living room, setting her on the couch.

Oo000ooo000oO

When Suzie woke up again, the sun was up, she was lying on her couch in her pajamas, the was the smell of freshly made coffee, and there was a tiger sitting in her recliner reading a book.

"Oh, you're up." Hobbes said, looking up when he heard her shift position.

Suzie gaped at him for a few moments before she spoke. "What-what's going on?" she asked.

Hobbes thought for a moment and put down his book. "Well, first of all, you're _not_ hallucinating." he said. "I am quite real, and I am sitting in your living room reading one of your trashy romance novels."

"But- but you're a stuffed animal!" Suzie exclaimed, sitting up on the couch and scooting as far back on it as she could. "How can you be here?"

Hobbes chuckled and marked his place. "The answer to that is somewhat complex, Suzie." he said. "And explanations are better explained over a fresh cup of Sumatran Java that you have."

Suzie blinked owlishly at Hobbes for a moment, then nodded. "Okay..." she said.

"Excellent!" Hobbes clapped his hands together and gave her a cheesy grin that reminded her all too much of Calvin."How do you take it?"

"Black, no sugar." Suzie said, watching as the bipedal tiger got to his feet and walked into the kitchen.

Hobbes returned moments later with a pair of mugs, and after giving Suzie hers, sat back down in the recliner and took an appreciative whiff. "Ahh... lovely. Now, what was I talking about?"

"You, and how you exist." Suzie answered, mug cradled in her hands as she looked over it at Hobbes.

"Right! Thank you." Hobbes said as he put his cup down. "Okay, as to what I am: I'm a tiger, obviously. A tiger _spirit_. Bonded to Calvin. You following me so far?"

Suzie nodded once and took a sip of her coffee.

"As to why you think I'm supposed to be a stuffed animal? That goes back to Calvin. He was born with the ability to see the world as it really is, the part that mankind has shut away."

Suzie gave Hobbes a slightly skeptical look. "What do mean, shut away?" she asked. "Why wasn't I able to see you before?"

Hobbes took a sip of his own coffee and smiled. "Because that's what Calvin's parents wanted me be, so that's what you saw."

"Huh?"

Hobbes took a deep breath, exhaled, and continued with his explanation. "It's the magic. The magic that bound me to Calvin set up certain rules that I have to obey. Calvin was a difficult birth. In the back of her mind, his mother was worried about him being harmed by the birth, and wished for him to be protected.

As I said, Calvin was born with the mental blinders that stops mankind from seeing the whole world. That means he's susceptible to magic, and childbirth is a very magically powerful event.

I just happened to be passing through, so to speak, when his mother made that wish. Right place, right time, I'm bonded to him.

At the same time, his father just happened to be thinking about what kind of toys he should buy for his new son, and just happened to think of a stuffed tiger. Magic, being what it is, decided that was going to be the form that everyone saw me as."

Hobbes leaned back and took another sip from his coffee.

"And that, is why you thought that I was a stuffed tiger." he said, somewhat smugly.

"Alright..." Suzie said. "What you said makes a kind of sense... but why am I seeing you now? You mentioned that there are certain rules you have to obey. Why am I talking to you now if you're supposed to look like a stuffed tiger to everyone but Calvin?"

Hobbes twitched his whiskers a couple of times and set his coffee back down. "Ahhh... well...Calvin just left after coming back here on leave, right"

"Right..." Suzie said, wondering where the tiger was going with this.

"Weeellll...the magic passes on to any children of his with the same ability."

Suzie frowned. "What do mean?" she asked.

"And I thought Calvin could be dense sometimes..." Hobbes muttered to himself as he kneaded his forehead. "That night, when you two went out to the bar? Where you got so drunk neither of you remember just how you ended up in bed together?"

Suzie knuckles went white as she gripped her mug in a death grip. "You... you mean...I'm..."

Hobbes nodded. "You're pregnant." he said. "You would found out in a couple of days if I hadn't told you."

"I'm on the Pill, for crying out loud!" Suzie said, putting her mug down on the coffee table. "How could this have happened?"

Hobbes shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not omnipotent." he said. "All I know is that you're knocked up, and I'm supposed to protect the kid."

"What do I do..." Suzie said, putting her head in her hands.

"My advice? Call Calvin first, tell him, then you two can figure something out." Hobbes suggested.

Suzie looked up to glare at the feline. "And how am I supposed to do that, fuzz ball? Before he came back, the last time I had talked to him was when we broke up."

Hobbes gave her another cheesy grin. "I got a number you can reach him at..." he said.

Suzie gave him the evil eye as she got up to get her phone. "You can be a real pain in the ass, you know that?"

"Yeah, but you still love me." Hobbes answered.

Oo000ooo000oO

End.

Author's Note: and here's another one the one shot's I promised. This one is from a little bit in the future in the First Steps time line. Don't worry, you'll get to see Calvin (and everyone else's) reactions soon.

ZB.


End file.
